Watermans Arms Barnes

This gastropub is not to be confused with the Watermans Arms in Brentford. The pub site dates back to the 1850s, but in its present form it was opened by Joe Grossman, founder of the Patty and Bun burger group, in August 2023. The head chef was Sam Andrews, who had previously cooked at the Camberwell Arms and at Duck Soup. The menu was short and rather more challenging than most pub menus, so no fish and chips or burgers here, despite the background of the owner.  A nice selection of music played, including blues and jazz. Lighting was low to the point of gloomy, which explains the ropey food photos.

The wine list on the website had 50 labels and ranged in price from £32 to £105, with a median price of £65 and an average markup to retail price of 3.2 times, which is not excessive by London standards. Sample references were Tuesday Club Vinho Verde 2023 at £33 for a bottle that you can find in the high street for £16.50, Cycles Gladiator Chardonnay 2022 at £48 compared to its retail price of £12, and Gabrielskloof ‘Wholebunch’ Syrah 2023 at £65 for a wine that will set you back £20 in the high street. For those with the means there was Westwell Pelegrim from Kent at £98 compared to its retail price of £37, and Barolo Albe G.D Vajra 2019 at £105 for a wine whose current market value is £23. I should note that the website wine list bore only a limited resemblance to the one presented at the table. Corkage was £25 for the first bottle with £50 per bottle for all subsequent bottles, which is nothing if not unusual as a policy.  

I started with a single hand-dived scallop (£9). seemingly from the west country, which was baked over charcoal with curry-flavoured butter, then finished with yoghurt, served in the scallop shell. This was nicely cooked, the curry flavour mild and the shellfish had reasonable natural sweetness (13/20). Less successful was artichoke (£14) with Taleggio (northern Italian cheese that dates back to Roman times) sauce, the artichokes not being prepared very carefully, still having hard outer leaves. The heart of the artichoke was cooked all right, though the Taleggio cheese sauce was rather dominant (11/20). Bread was from Coombeshead farm in Launceston in Cornwall.

We shared a whole 600g brill (£64), served on the bone. The fish was cooked fine (12/20), though once you had filleted and skinned the fish there was a limited amount of it for the £32 per person price. Chips on the side were decent though not obviously seasoned. Carrots with fontina cheese (£8) were distinctly hard and undercooked, and was another example of an ingredient slathered in cheese sauce. Each end of the carrot was charred yet the carrots were hard. It takes a certain talent to both overcook and undercook the same dish at the same time. Think of it as a kind of Schrodinger's carrot (10/20). Bitter greens (£8) were covered in a preserved lemon sauce, and although the greens were cooked all right they were overwhelmed by the sauce (11/20). Side dishes at £8 seem ambitiously priced for a pub in the suburbs.

For dessert, butterscotch (£9) was served with clotted cream and an oat and almond cake. The cake was dry and the butterscotch over-caramelised (11/20). I had some pleasant Baron Bigod cheese and crackers. Coffee was from Square Mile, a good producer, but there was no espresso machine so it was only available in a cafetiere. Service, led by manageress Isabelle, was very good. The bill came to £102 per person with corkage for a single bottle of wine. This felt like an awful lot of money for the quality of food that was delivered.